Band Forced By New Zealand On Air To Video Bits Of Cardboard

Filming bits of moving cardboard?
What a bunch of arse.

AUCKLAND – Luckless local lads, Svelte, have announced a concept for their first video - but nobody's celebrating. The band had hoped to be cruising the street in a groovy old surf car, ending up at a Grey Lynn villa to party with local actors, models and music stars - basically a beavy of beauties.

"We've been planning this video all our lives, since we were little boys" said a despondent Tim Stewart - Svelte's lead-singer. "Jamie used to chat up his dog when he was younger and Ben used to draw a perm on his pillow and pretend he was kissing Sandra Kerns at his ultimate video wrap party... but New Zealand On Air (NZOA) have crushed those dreams".

According to Svelte's enigmatic guitarist, Ben Sciascia, the band will have to make do with filming bits of cardboard. "After a whole year of applying for video grants (see Unknown Local Band Reportedly “Pissed” At Missing Out On Funding (Again)), I was forced to put my thinking cap on and come up with a video concept that would cost next to nothing... because thats all we have now, nothing".

"Jamie had some damp cardboard in his garage and I'd just purchased a new Digital SLR, you know the one with the 18-90mm 35mm equivalent zoom lens? We decided to paint the cardboard and film it moving around frame by frame. We hope it will look similar to Radiohead's "Street Spirit" but shot using bits of cardboard on carpet and without any slow motion" Ben concludes.

No one is looking forward to seeing this video and no one cares if it's ever released. New Zealand On Air refused to comment and this reporter has had a guts full of writing fictitious crap for dead-beat websites (in my office right now please Jill – ED). Source=Etlevs

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